What a week...

I am sad tonight.  I am getting ready to say goodbye to Collin for quite awhile as he leaves for the Middle East tomorrow.  I am disappointed that I have been so sick this week that I couldn't even get out of bed.  I envisioned amazing quality family time before he left, but instead I was sick in bed with high fevers and unable to eat anything except soup and ice cream.  Instead of great long conversations, I silently slept in the other room.  My mom even had to fly out early to help because I am still not better. I probably picked it up while spending most of Monday in a NYC Downtown Hospital ER with Liam...He picked up a pill on the floor of the Staten Island Ferry and ate it.  Since we didn't know what it was, we rushed to the nearest hospital to be monitored in an ER.  It was seriously like the TV shows...busy, dirty, and crazy, but that is a story for another day.  Liam is fine! 

Since we don't know how and when we will be able to talk with the time difference and cost of phones etc, it is hard for me and makes me sad. I am used to being able to text or call anytime of day.  I have also settled with the fact that sometimes his job is dangerous and am fine with that day to day, but to be honest, the danger factor in those countries scares me.  I know that when we say goodbye to anyone it could be our last...car accidents, heart attacks, and strokes can happen anytime...but to send someone far away to a dangerous place is a little scary. 

So, today I was laying in bed and Collin was packing in our room.  I was getting choked up and looked next to me.  The book "Jesus Calling" by Sara Young was laying there.  I recently received it as a gift, but hadn't opened it yet.  I felt like God was urging me to open to the bookmarked page.

This was the first sentence on that day (May 7):

"IF YOU LEARN TO TRUST ME--really trust Me--with your whole being, then nothing can separate you from My Peace."

Tears started to stream down my face.  God knew what I needed to hear. 

The day ended with this:

"Do not fear what this day, or any day, may bring your way.  Concentrate on trusting Me and on doing what needs to be done.  Relax in My sovereignty, remembering that I go before you, as well as with you, into each day.  Fear no evil, for I can bring good out of every situation you will ever encounter." (pg. 134)

God knows what we need more that we ever do.  Collin's favorite hymn is "His Eye is on the Sparrow".  Collin has a deep faith and peace because he trusts that if God can watch over the sparrow, He can also care for us.

While I am still sad and know that I will miss my husband on his trip, I can trust that God will take care of him and our family..."for I know He watches me".